Football season is upon us. The best time of the year. The wait is over. But if I knew the 1st week of training camp openings in college and pro football would be dominated by 2 past their prime prima donnas, I wouldn't have wished it to be here so quickly. Yes, I'm talking about the beloved Joe Paterno and Brett Farve, oops I mean Favre. What's with these guys? One retires and unretires, holding his team hostage and the other can't even fathom it, even though he's been coaching since he arrived on the Mayflower.
Let's start with Favre, who is the American sweetheart of the NFL. Brett had a resurgence in 2007, having arguably his best season, at least statistically, since his heyday in the mid 90's. The Packers surprised everyone by coming within one game of the Super Bowl. Then Favre, while being pushed by the Packers for a decision as to not drag retirement rumors into the 6th consecutive training camp, retires in March. Great, hand the keys to Aaron Rodgers and ride off into the Mississippi sunset.
That would be too easy. We slam athletes with me first attitudes all the time. Especially in the NFL, the ultimate team game where their is an extremely fine line between 13-3 and 7-9. But somehow Brett gets a pass. Why? HE RETIRED! THE PACKERS MOVED ON! But now he wants back, and it has turned into your typical ugly divorce. And no one seems to want to admit this in the media, but would this be a big deal if the '07 Brett would have been more like the '05/'06 Brett, he of the 38/47 TD-to-Int ratio? I doubt it.
Hey, I know and you know where this is headed. He'll suit up for Green Bay or get traded and finish his career in Tampa, joining the weird ending to great careers club with Unitas, Namath and Montana. But count me officially out of the Brett Favre fan club.
Just like I'm out of the JoePa fan club. Hey Joe, you're going to be 82 in December. I know you're an all-timer. I know you basically are Penn State University. But you're also running your program right off the tracks (some would say it's been off the tracks for years right Craiggers?) and it doesn't seem like you realize it.
This isn't a bash on the elderly. I love my grandfather. He's the sweetest guy. He's also not running a multi-million dollar company, dominated by peers half his age. Joe freely admits he doesn't like computers, text messages or frankly, recruiting. It shows on the field. And now even worse, off the field.
ESPN's Outside the Lines recently aired a feature showing Penn St having something like 3,000 football related arrests in the last 5-6 years. Joe shrugged them off saying he didn't think there was a problem and that he was afraid a witch hunt might be happening to his program. Joe, once shame on me. This is a borderline epidemic. I'm not naive though. Joe, most boosters and school presidents will bat for you if the arrests translate to double digit win totals each season. When those arrests culminate in 4 losing seasons this decade, the heat should be burning bunsen style.
But there lies the rub. JoePa seems to ignore everything and is going strong, endorsed by said university. Would Steve Jobs get a pass from the Apple board if the business went off the cliff for the better part of a decade? Well, then why does JoePa? He's a legend and he basically built the program from scratch, but come on State College, can we buy JoePa a golf cart and be done with it already please.
PLEASE RETIRE BRETT AND JOE!!!
SIGNED
EVERYONE OUTSIDE OF YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Any more cards in the deck Jemele?
Sorry, it's been a week or so. I could come up with an excuse, but I've basically just been lazy. And drinking. Anyways, I have been meaning to get to a story that had me cheering a few weeks back, and it didn't ever happen on a playing surface.
Most of you probably don't know who Jemele Hill is, so I'll give a little back drop. She is a younger, ok sports writer from real Detroit, not suburban Detroit, as she so eloquently states on her webpage: jemelehill.com She currently writes columns for espn.com's page 2. She is also African American.
No, this column isn't about race. It could be, but what's the point. Race is like politics and religion. Opposites can almost never have a real discussion on these subjects without the conversation careening off course, so I won't even bother.
What's funny about Jemele Hill is just 2 years ago, she was probably the 4th sports writer at my favorite local beacon of sports journalism, the Orlando Sentinel. To call the Sentinel a launching pad for espn.com would be pretty accurate, about as accurate as say living in my mom's basement is a launching pad to supermodel dating. So how does Ms. Hill make the jump from her riveting riding with series - where she would ride around and interview athletes in Central/South Florida- to the worldwide leader?
It's not about race right? No, but for a hip, young, pretty, black sportswriter - for which there are about a handful in this country I'm guessing - I'm sure it's much easier to rise up the food chain. Especially when Ms. Hill plays some form of the race card in about 98% of her columns.
How crazy is it then that 2 weeks ago, after comparing rooting for the Celtics to be akin to rooting for Hitler - she gets suspended from ESPN. The very shtick that helped her get there had got her kicked out. Now she wasn't fired, just suspended for a period of time to reflect on what she had done. I know that's a joke in and of itself, but I find it hilarious. ESPN hires her to be controversial, edgy and different, than shuts her down when she takes it too far. I guess you can have your cake but you can't always eat it too.
I'm not condoning the action. There are a handful of subjects that should just never be brought up when trying to make sports comparisons, and I'm pretty sure the Nazi leader is one of them. It's just ironic that Jemele got burned for playing the reverse race card. I know racism is still prevalent today, and people never want to acknowledge it. I know minority coaches and executives still have trouble getting into the established good old boy, IE white circles, of sports. Same for up and coming African American writers like Jemele.
Maybe I'm naive or unrealistic, but I hate that race is still brought up by people like Jemele as a style or calling card. I always thought sports for the most part was one of the few arenas where racism is on the back burner. I'd root for a black, Hispanic or any other minority player every bit as loud as a white player if he helped my team win. Same with a coach or an owner. Same with a journalist, as long as they realized it's not always about the color of your skin. If Jemele read this last sentence, she'd probably laugh and say I'm so blind that I can't even see it. I'd counter, I'd be worried about my ESPN contract, which expires in November.
Most of you probably don't know who Jemele Hill is, so I'll give a little back drop. She is a younger, ok sports writer from real Detroit, not suburban Detroit, as she so eloquently states on her webpage: jemelehill.com She currently writes columns for espn.com's page 2. She is also African American.
No, this column isn't about race. It could be, but what's the point. Race is like politics and religion. Opposites can almost never have a real discussion on these subjects without the conversation careening off course, so I won't even bother.
What's funny about Jemele Hill is just 2 years ago, she was probably the 4th sports writer at my favorite local beacon of sports journalism, the Orlando Sentinel. To call the Sentinel a launching pad for espn.com would be pretty accurate, about as accurate as say living in my mom's basement is a launching pad to supermodel dating. So how does Ms. Hill make the jump from her riveting riding with series - where she would ride around and interview athletes in Central/South Florida- to the worldwide leader?
It's not about race right? No, but for a hip, young, pretty, black sportswriter - for which there are about a handful in this country I'm guessing - I'm sure it's much easier to rise up the food chain. Especially when Ms. Hill plays some form of the race card in about 98% of her columns.
How crazy is it then that 2 weeks ago, after comparing rooting for the Celtics to be akin to rooting for Hitler - she gets suspended from ESPN. The very shtick that helped her get there had got her kicked out. Now she wasn't fired, just suspended for a period of time to reflect on what she had done. I know that's a joke in and of itself, but I find it hilarious. ESPN hires her to be controversial, edgy and different, than shuts her down when she takes it too far. I guess you can have your cake but you can't always eat it too.
I'm not condoning the action. There are a handful of subjects that should just never be brought up when trying to make sports comparisons, and I'm pretty sure the Nazi leader is one of them. It's just ironic that Jemele got burned for playing the reverse race card. I know racism is still prevalent today, and people never want to acknowledge it. I know minority coaches and executives still have trouble getting into the established good old boy, IE white circles, of sports. Same for up and coming African American writers like Jemele.
Maybe I'm naive or unrealistic, but I hate that race is still brought up by people like Jemele as a style or calling card. I always thought sports for the most part was one of the few arenas where racism is on the back burner. I'd root for a black, Hispanic or any other minority player every bit as loud as a white player if he helped my team win. Same with a coach or an owner. Same with a journalist, as long as they realized it's not always about the color of your skin. If Jemele read this last sentence, she'd probably laugh and say I'm so blind that I can't even see it. I'd counter, I'd be worried about my ESPN contract, which expires in November.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Notre "who gives a" Dame
I don't like a lot of things in life. Cheesy Pop Music. Mashed Potatoes. The fact that Brian Austin Green, aka David F#^*ing Silver, IS ENGAGED to Megan Fox. Wolverines. Yankees. And of course Notre Dame. But it's different with Notre Lame. Saying I hate Notre Dame would imply an emotion or caring towards the "Fighting" Irish, which would be idiotic on my part because they should be irrelevant and void of any such attachment.
This apathy for the Irish stems from the news this week that the Irish renewed their exclusive TV contract with NBC this week: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3452161 The fact that a school who has finished in the top 10 3 times over the last 20 years can get this deal is beyond me. That they are still considered by anyone to be an elite program is laughable too.
Notre Dame is ranked 20th in winning percentage among college programs over the last 20 years, beyond such storied powerhouses as Kansas St, Marshall, Boise St and Toledo. They are also a pedestrian 26-30-2 against those programs ranked above them over that span. Plus, have you seen what happens the last few years when they step on the field with the true big dogs of college football like USC, Ohio St or LSU? Your probably turned it off because it's embarrassing, like watching Goliath pound David, not the other way around. Throw those stats in with the fact they haven't won a bowl game in almost 15 YEARS, a national title since the late 80's, and have been non-existent in the NFL draft for the better part of a decade is more reason to be appalled at the contract.
I mean, you can't read that article without laughing. Now, don't get me wrong. From Notre Dame's perspective it's a great deal. There is no split with conference schools. They get the whole pie, plus they get to lick the bowl. Why? Why do they get rewarded for being average?
An Irish fan would argue they have tradition. That they Play like a Champion. That they have Knute Rockne, the Gipper, Joe Montana and the Rocket. Well my dad had bell bottoms, polyester shirts and a mullet. It doesn't mean he should still get praised for the faux pas. And Irish fans will point to their hard schedule, the fact that they don't play lay up conference opponents and will take on anyone. OK, maybe I'd buy that if they didn't play 3 service academies and a host of middling BCS opponents sprinkled around an occasional Michigan win and the annual USC ass-whipping.
I can't think of anything in life that still gets rewarded for being good 20 years ago. It would be like giving a typewriter the best technology invention award of 2008. Or the Delorean car of the year. Or listening to music on my walkman.
Get with the program. Notre Dame is a thing of the past. Gone are the days when Notre Dame was the only school on TV. That they had a minor league program of catholic prep schools to feed the beast. No Irish fan with a straight face could argue they are a top 10 or really even top 20 program anymore. I hate that they didn't join the Big 10, but still play 4 teams a year from the conference. That their Jabba the Hutt coach gets labeled as a genius even though his biggest win in his 3 years as coach was winning the steak eating contest at the South Bend Sizzler.
But as long as their are the Beano Cook's of the world, we'll be barraged with clips of their epic struggles with Army and Navy from sometime during and around the great depression. And let's not kid ourselves. On a Saturday afternoon, when I have 3 TV's set up in the living room, the last thing I'm putting on is NBC to watch the Irish play San Diego St. Then again, their is probably a reason NBC went from a juggernaut to 4th place. They think Notre Dame is still the real deal. If they wanted to spend their $9 million a year wisely, they should just add it to the Olympic budget. That's still a relevant money maker too, right?
This apathy for the Irish stems from the news this week that the Irish renewed their exclusive TV contract with NBC this week: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3452161 The fact that a school who has finished in the top 10 3 times over the last 20 years can get this deal is beyond me. That they are still considered by anyone to be an elite program is laughable too.
Notre Dame is ranked 20th in winning percentage among college programs over the last 20 years, beyond such storied powerhouses as Kansas St, Marshall, Boise St and Toledo. They are also a pedestrian 26-30-2 against those programs ranked above them over that span. Plus, have you seen what happens the last few years when they step on the field with the true big dogs of college football like USC, Ohio St or LSU? Your probably turned it off because it's embarrassing, like watching Goliath pound David, not the other way around. Throw those stats in with the fact they haven't won a bowl game in almost 15 YEARS, a national title since the late 80's, and have been non-existent in the NFL draft for the better part of a decade is more reason to be appalled at the contract.
I mean, you can't read that article without laughing. Now, don't get me wrong. From Notre Dame's perspective it's a great deal. There is no split with conference schools. They get the whole pie, plus they get to lick the bowl. Why? Why do they get rewarded for being average?
An Irish fan would argue they have tradition. That they Play like a Champion. That they have Knute Rockne, the Gipper, Joe Montana and the Rocket. Well my dad had bell bottoms, polyester shirts and a mullet. It doesn't mean he should still get praised for the faux pas. And Irish fans will point to their hard schedule, the fact that they don't play lay up conference opponents and will take on anyone. OK, maybe I'd buy that if they didn't play 3 service academies and a host of middling BCS opponents sprinkled around an occasional Michigan win and the annual USC ass-whipping.
I can't think of anything in life that still gets rewarded for being good 20 years ago. It would be like giving a typewriter the best technology invention award of 2008. Or the Delorean car of the year. Or listening to music on my walkman.
Get with the program. Notre Dame is a thing of the past. Gone are the days when Notre Dame was the only school on TV. That they had a minor league program of catholic prep schools to feed the beast. No Irish fan with a straight face could argue they are a top 10 or really even top 20 program anymore. I hate that they didn't join the Big 10, but still play 4 teams a year from the conference. That their Jabba the Hutt coach gets labeled as a genius even though his biggest win in his 3 years as coach was winning the steak eating contest at the South Bend Sizzler.
But as long as their are the Beano Cook's of the world, we'll be barraged with clips of their epic struggles with Army and Navy from sometime during and around the great depression. And let's not kid ourselves. On a Saturday afternoon, when I have 3 TV's set up in the living room, the last thing I'm putting on is NBC to watch the Irish play San Diego St. Then again, their is probably a reason NBC went from a juggernaut to 4th place. They think Notre Dame is still the real deal. If they wanted to spend their $9 million a year wisely, they should just add it to the Olympic budget. That's still a relevant money maker too, right?
Friday, June 13, 2008
11 more weeks
I love college football. Like, really love it. I have been hooked on sports since my first peak out of the womb, and nothing compares to my affection for college football. Of course I worship, memorize stats, and wear sweater vests for my favorite team - The Ohio State University. I pay $10/month to be a member of a website called Bucknuts.com and I check it probably 6-10 times a day 365. I wear a buckeye "live strong" type bracelet every day (2 on game days). I wear an Ohio State watch. I'm about 3 clicks above obsessed for the Buckeyes.
College football is the best sport America has to offer. No other sport invokes so much passion or emotions. I hate everything and almost everyone from the state of Michigan for no other reason than I hate those F#^*ing winged helmets. But it also bonds families and friends in a way no other sport does.
For example, I have 4 buddies -iJB, Tompkins (BT), Juice and Craiggers- who I e-mail on a daily basis. They all know each other because they all used to live and work together in Phoenix but now we are all spread out around the country.
We go back and forth, sometimes sending upwards of 200 e-mails a day. I probably spend 6-8 hours a week at work e-mailing these guys. The funny thing is though, outside of iJB (he loves Apple products so much he got an iPod tattooed on his shoulder - Seriously!) who I worked with for 6 months and have remained good friends, I have only met BT and Juice once and I have never met Craiggers.
Yet, because of our love for college football, I feel like these guys are some of my closest friends. iJB is a Boomer Sooner, BT bleeds the ugly orange of Tennessee, Craiggers worships JoePa, and Juice is my Buckeye ally. I talk to these guys as much or more than most of my friends I have known my whole life. Hell, we are doing a guys weekend road trip to Columbus for the Ohio St/Penn St game in October. A non-college football fan might think that is nuts, but I haven't thought anything other than worrying abut my liver that weekend.
College football is the only sport I know that can tie people together no matter their personal/religious/political background. I have my theories on why it's the best. I think you get 100,000+ people wanting to recapture the glory of their college years. You don't have the overpaid jerkoffs like you do in the pros. You get a fresh team every year so you don't become the Detroit Lions or the LA Clippers. You can bond with your family through generations who have gone to those games. Every game matters so their is no room for error.
Tomorrow marks 11 weeks (77 days) until the season begins. It's torturous. Each offseason seems to get longer and longer. There is only so much Phil Steele I can read to satisfy the hunger. My buddies all call me DGG - Doom and Gloom Gilly - but I would just like to say thank you. Without you guys, these 77 days would be unbearable.
College football is the best sport America has to offer. No other sport invokes so much passion or emotions. I hate everything and almost everyone from the state of Michigan for no other reason than I hate those F#^*ing winged helmets. But it also bonds families and friends in a way no other sport does.
For example, I have 4 buddies -iJB, Tompkins (BT), Juice and Craiggers- who I e-mail on a daily basis. They all know each other because they all used to live and work together in Phoenix but now we are all spread out around the country.
We go back and forth, sometimes sending upwards of 200 e-mails a day. I probably spend 6-8 hours a week at work e-mailing these guys. The funny thing is though, outside of iJB (he loves Apple products so much he got an iPod tattooed on his shoulder - Seriously!) who I worked with for 6 months and have remained good friends, I have only met BT and Juice once and I have never met Craiggers.
Yet, because of our love for college football, I feel like these guys are some of my closest friends. iJB is a Boomer Sooner, BT bleeds the ugly orange of Tennessee, Craiggers worships JoePa, and Juice is my Buckeye ally. I talk to these guys as much or more than most of my friends I have known my whole life. Hell, we are doing a guys weekend road trip to Columbus for the Ohio St/Penn St game in October. A non-college football fan might think that is nuts, but I haven't thought anything other than worrying abut my liver that weekend.
College football is the only sport I know that can tie people together no matter their personal/religious/political background. I have my theories on why it's the best. I think you get 100,000+ people wanting to recapture the glory of their college years. You don't have the overpaid jerkoffs like you do in the pros. You get a fresh team every year so you don't become the Detroit Lions or the LA Clippers. You can bond with your family through generations who have gone to those games. Every game matters so their is no room for error.
Tomorrow marks 11 weeks (77 days) until the season begins. It's torturous. Each offseason seems to get longer and longer. There is only so much Phil Steele I can read to satisfy the hunger. My buddies all call me DGG - Doom and Gloom Gilly - but I would just like to say thank you. Without you guys, these 77 days would be unbearable.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Rules Change Anyone?
I know, I know, I just bashed summer. It's hot , this sucks, that sucks, blah blah blah. But with the NBA Finals wrapping up in a week or so, we are left with one main sport to carry us until August. That's right, it's "America's Pastime". No, not the NFL regular season. It's Major League Baseball Silly.
I know my blog would suggest I'm an Indians or Reds fan, but before my dad met my mom in Columbus, he was born and raised in the great city of Boston. Now being a Red Sox fan was god damn awful until about 4 years ago, but I love the game. It reminds me of days playing catch with dad, little league, and summer trips to ballparks up and down the East Coast. It doesn't remind me however of the scene last Thursday in Fenway.
For those of you who don't follow, the young, up and coming Devil Rays, oops I mean just Rays of Tampa were in beantown to face the Sox for a first place showdown. Boston won game 1, and while cruising to another win in game 2, fireworks erupted. Coco Crisp, an outfielder for Boston, slid hard into 2nd late in the game, a little too hard by Rays manger Joe Madden's liking. A verbal spewing match occurred, laying the groundwork every fan/viewer/baseball related person knew was coming during game 3.
Of course , Rays game 3 starter Jame Shields, following the logic established a 100 years ago in "America's Pastime", puts the 1st pitch to Boston's Coco Crisp in the bottom of the 2nd right in the middle of his thigh. My first thought as Crisp charged the mound, escalating a full on benches clearing brawl - F@#*, they are both on my fantasy team. My 2nd thought, how ridiculous and accepted this childishness behavior has become.
Really? "Well Coco, we vehemently disagree with how you performed last night, so we are going to throw a 94 mph fastball at the middle of your body to show you are dislike." What are we? 5? I'm not saying this as a Sox fan. Who made this unwritten baseball law? What does it say that our supposedly sophisticated American ball game resorts to adolescent antics when they feel they have been wronged. Was Coco not supposed to make a hard slide? Could Madden and the Rays have taken the high road and let it slide?
Could you imagine if these asinine by-lines were applied to other sports. What if Kobe, after feeling like Paul Pierce milked the injury episode in game 1 to upstage the Lakers' manhood or the sanctity of the game, took the 1st possession of game 2, grabbed the ball, and threw it as hard as he could right off the chest of Pierce? How would the crowd/media react? How is that any different than the Shields/Crisp incident?
Sports are full of double edged sword and contradictions. They are also full of out dated, backwards, unspoken rules that govern the purity of the sport. Shields and Crisp only hurt their teams by engaging in archaic practices that result in suspensions/fines. I've got an idea: Grow Up.
I know my blog would suggest I'm an Indians or Reds fan, but before my dad met my mom in Columbus, he was born and raised in the great city of Boston. Now being a Red Sox fan was god damn awful until about 4 years ago, but I love the game. It reminds me of days playing catch with dad, little league, and summer trips to ballparks up and down the East Coast. It doesn't remind me however of the scene last Thursday in Fenway.
For those of you who don't follow, the young, up and coming Devil Rays, oops I mean just Rays of Tampa were in beantown to face the Sox for a first place showdown. Boston won game 1, and while cruising to another win in game 2, fireworks erupted. Coco Crisp, an outfielder for Boston, slid hard into 2nd late in the game, a little too hard by Rays manger Joe Madden's liking. A verbal spewing match occurred, laying the groundwork every fan/viewer/baseball related person knew was coming during game 3.
Of course , Rays game 3 starter Jame Shields, following the logic established a 100 years ago in "America's Pastime", puts the 1st pitch to Boston's Coco Crisp in the bottom of the 2nd right in the middle of his thigh. My first thought as Crisp charged the mound, escalating a full on benches clearing brawl - F@#*, they are both on my fantasy team. My 2nd thought, how ridiculous and accepted this childishness behavior has become.
Really? "Well Coco, we vehemently disagree with how you performed last night, so we are going to throw a 94 mph fastball at the middle of your body to show you are dislike." What are we? 5? I'm not saying this as a Sox fan. Who made this unwritten baseball law? What does it say that our supposedly sophisticated American ball game resorts to adolescent antics when they feel they have been wronged. Was Coco not supposed to make a hard slide? Could Madden and the Rays have taken the high road and let it slide?
Could you imagine if these asinine by-lines were applied to other sports. What if Kobe, after feeling like Paul Pierce milked the injury episode in game 1 to upstage the Lakers' manhood or the sanctity of the game, took the 1st possession of game 2, grabbed the ball, and threw it as hard as he could right off the chest of Pierce? How would the crowd/media react? How is that any different than the Shields/Crisp incident?
Sports are full of double edged sword and contradictions. They are also full of out dated, backwards, unspoken rules that govern the purity of the sport. Shields and Crisp only hurt their teams by engaging in archaic practices that result in suspensions/fines. I've got an idea: Grow Up.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?! Part 1
I'm trying to become a diverse blog. Most of my friends and family think all I am is Ohio State football and other sports 24/7. But I have more in my repertoire. I am a guy, and guys think of random ideas constantly so this is going to try and become a recurring segment called Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?! It will be my take or opinion on decisions or events that have impacted my life, good or bad.
For part 1 of Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?!, I would like to tackle the origin of a comic strip that became a phenomenon, encompassing 4 major motion pictures, cartoons, countless merchandising and had an immeasurable impact on kids for the last 20 years. Of course, I'm talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Man did I worship those turtles in a half shell when I was a youngster! I ate the cereal, had the toys and saw the 1st movie at least 3 times in the theater.
According to wikepedia, the concept arose from a humorous drawing sketched out by Kevin Eastman during a casual evening of brainstorming with his friend Peter Laird. Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?! A casual evening of brainstorming?! I'm trying to keep this a family blog but I'm 100% sure this casual evening involved something that rhymes with either "shasharijuana" or "shashack shashaniels". There is no way you came up with the TMNT concept sober. NO WAY!
In January 1988, they visited the offices of Playmates Toys Inc, a small California toy company who wished to expand into the action figure market. Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?! God would I have loved to been a fly on that wall. Here's the pitch: "they are Teenage Mutated Turtles, named after famous renaissance artists, they live in a secret lair in the sewers, mentored in the ways of mixed martial arts by a giant size rat named Splinter, they only eat pizza, all the while saving the world from the foot soldier army whose is led by the disfigured martial arts master Shredder." Someone bought that? Really?
Well, 20 years later TMNT is still humming along, making movies, memorabilia, and millions. Maybe I'm just jealous. Playmates Toys recently passed on my idea of Geriatric Schizophrenic Swinging Monkeys, about out of their mind senior monkeys who swap their brides in an open Brazilian jungle. I guess I need to lay off the shashack shashaniels.
For part 1 of Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?!, I would like to tackle the origin of a comic strip that became a phenomenon, encompassing 4 major motion pictures, cartoons, countless merchandising and had an immeasurable impact on kids for the last 20 years. Of course, I'm talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Man did I worship those turtles in a half shell when I was a youngster! I ate the cereal, had the toys and saw the 1st movie at least 3 times in the theater.
According to wikepedia, the concept arose from a humorous drawing sketched out by Kevin Eastman during a casual evening of brainstorming with his friend Peter Laird. Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?! A casual evening of brainstorming?! I'm trying to keep this a family blog but I'm 100% sure this casual evening involved something that rhymes with either "shasharijuana" or "shashack shashaniels". There is no way you came up with the TMNT concept sober. NO WAY!
In January 1988, they visited the offices of Playmates Toys Inc, a small California toy company who wished to expand into the action figure market. Rrrriiiigggghhhhtttt?! God would I have loved to been a fly on that wall. Here's the pitch: "they are Teenage Mutated Turtles, named after famous renaissance artists, they live in a secret lair in the sewers, mentored in the ways of mixed martial arts by a giant size rat named Splinter, they only eat pizza, all the while saving the world from the foot soldier army whose is led by the disfigured martial arts master Shredder." Someone bought that? Really?
Well, 20 years later TMNT is still humming along, making movies, memorabilia, and millions. Maybe I'm just jealous. Playmates Toys recently passed on my idea of Geriatric Schizophrenic Swinging Monkeys, about out of their mind senior monkeys who swap their brides in an open Brazilian jungle. I guess I need to lay off the shashack shashaniels.
The Summer Reversal
Friday paydays are the best 26 days of the year for the working adult right? Not only is it the end of the week, but you also get to replenish the bank account that ran dry 1-13 days prior. Outside of a death in the family or an unexpected financial A-bomb, what can ruin these glorious days? Well, I have added a new thing to the list, something I'll call the summer reversal.
I came to this conclusion on my way into work last Friday. I drive by 2 schools on my commute to work, and this day was the last day of the calendar year for the lucky kids of Seminole County. Is there anything more pure and joyful than to see look/bounce/exhilaration of kids knowing they don't have to step foot back at school for 3 months. No more homework, peer pressure, bad cafeteria food or bullies. God I remember those 12 heavenly days. You make plans with friends. You say goodbye to your crushes. You empty your desks, tearing up every waste of paper around. Honestly all that's missing is alcohol and a DJ from it being the best party of the year, every year.
That day kicks off a summer of awesomeness. I grew up in a small town called St. Augustine, FL. All my friends lived within about 2 miles of each other. I can barely ride a bicycle these days, but back then I could log a daily Tour de France stage on that thing. We'd meet up every day, getting in and out of mischief, with the beach 500 yards from my front door. Mix in local sports camps during the day, a family vacation, and the annual Parsons neighborhood 4th bash in between, they were the best 90 days of your year. Guaranteed.
Fast forward a decade, and they pretty much are the worst 90 days of the year. This hit me at 9:45 in the morning on Friday, where being outside for 12 minutes in the mugginess of Central Florida left me covered in sweat that had also managed to soak through every article of clothing on my body. I have lived in Florida most of my life, but I always seem to forget how hot it actually gets in the summer. It's like the man upstairs sets the oven to broil and then opens the sky. It's not just the absurd weather either. Other factors:
- No Sports - I'm a junkie, especially for college football and my beloved Bucks. While I like baseball and golf so I can sporadically get my fix, I will be Jonesin' for at least 2 more months. I mean my buddy BT tried to get in a sports argument about college baseball today. Seriously! We might need to send him to rehab earlier than normal this year.
- No Holidays - I know the 4th, but that's one day in 3 months, and although it's on Friday this year, it usually falls in the middle of the week which sucks as every other major holiday gives you a long weekend as well.
- Electric and Water Bills skyrocket - nothing like having the A/C hum 24/7 and $275 electric bills in a 1500 sq ft house.
.
- No TV - For a married guy who has a steady diet of regular shows, the idea of getting into Wipeout, Celebrity Circus or Tila Tequila sound about as appealing as a root canal
- Did I mention no good Sports? And don't give me the played out Olympics, where we don't give a damn for any of those sports outside of 3 weeks every 4 years.
So enjoy your fun kids. Climb trees, go to camps, make out, sleep in. Just live, because summer only gets worse from here. I won't even get started on Christmas.
I came to this conclusion on my way into work last Friday. I drive by 2 schools on my commute to work, and this day was the last day of the calendar year for the lucky kids of Seminole County. Is there anything more pure and joyful than to see look/bounce/exhilaration of kids knowing they don't have to step foot back at school for 3 months. No more homework, peer pressure, bad cafeteria food or bullies. God I remember those 12 heavenly days. You make plans with friends. You say goodbye to your crushes. You empty your desks, tearing up every waste of paper around. Honestly all that's missing is alcohol and a DJ from it being the best party of the year, every year.
That day kicks off a summer of awesomeness. I grew up in a small town called St. Augustine, FL. All my friends lived within about 2 miles of each other. I can barely ride a bicycle these days, but back then I could log a daily Tour de France stage on that thing. We'd meet up every day, getting in and out of mischief, with the beach 500 yards from my front door. Mix in local sports camps during the day, a family vacation, and the annual Parsons neighborhood 4th bash in between, they were the best 90 days of your year. Guaranteed.
Fast forward a decade, and they pretty much are the worst 90 days of the year. This hit me at 9:45 in the morning on Friday, where being outside for 12 minutes in the mugginess of Central Florida left me covered in sweat that had also managed to soak through every article of clothing on my body. I have lived in Florida most of my life, but I always seem to forget how hot it actually gets in the summer. It's like the man upstairs sets the oven to broil and then opens the sky. It's not just the absurd weather either. Other factors:
- No Sports - I'm a junkie, especially for college football and my beloved Bucks. While I like baseball and golf so I can sporadically get my fix, I will be Jonesin' for at least 2 more months. I mean my buddy BT tried to get in a sports argument about college baseball today. Seriously! We might need to send him to rehab earlier than normal this year.
- No Holidays - I know the 4th, but that's one day in 3 months, and although it's on Friday this year, it usually falls in the middle of the week which sucks as every other major holiday gives you a long weekend as well.
- Electric and Water Bills skyrocket - nothing like having the A/C hum 24/7 and $275 electric bills in a 1500 sq ft house.
.
- No TV - For a married guy who has a steady diet of regular shows, the idea of getting into Wipeout, Celebrity Circus or Tila Tequila sound about as appealing as a root canal
- Did I mention no good Sports? And don't give me the played out Olympics, where we don't give a damn for any of those sports outside of 3 weeks every 4 years.
So enjoy your fun kids. Climb trees, go to camps, make out, sleep in. Just live, because summer only gets worse from here. I won't even get started on Christmas.
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